Powell Pod Prevarication Jubilation!
I hereby propose a new game for all lion-hearted CLICCsters to enjoy: the Powell Pod Prevarication Jubilation!
Before I introduce the full scope of my proposal, I believe a little background information is in order.
As all are aware, a significant portion of our users are-- how to put this simply-- functionally retarded. Example: Asking where the mouse on the kiosk is upon Check-IN, somehow ignoring the latent fact that they must have been instructed on the use of the touchscreen interface just a few short hours prior.
Thus it falls to us to brutally exploit their slack-jawed ineptitude.
The Powell Pod Prevarication Jubiliation will be a continuing exploitation escalation. We will, in effect, spin more and more innocuous lies and feed them to users as truth. This trend will continue for the foreseeable future, and all shall be well.
Round 1:
As of 1:50PM on Saturday, November 18th, in the Year of our Lord 2006, I have convinced a user, upon her complaint that touchscreens must be, "all grody and disgusting," that all of our kiosk touchscreens auto-clean themselves every hour, on the hour. The screen does so by burning brighter for a period of ten seconds, elevating the screen temperature to a level that will decontaminate the surface without burning the fingertips of anyone who is currently touching the kiosk.
Your mission is to press on with these (HARMLESS!) lies. Escalate. Obfuscate. Escalate. Such is your duty.
Before I introduce the full scope of my proposal, I believe a little background information is in order.
As all are aware, a significant portion of our users are-- how to put this simply-- functionally retarded. Example: Asking where the mouse on the kiosk is upon Check-IN, somehow ignoring the latent fact that they must have been instructed on the use of the touchscreen interface just a few short hours prior.
Thus it falls to us to brutally exploit their slack-jawed ineptitude.
The Powell Pod Prevarication Jubiliation will be a continuing exploitation escalation. We will, in effect, spin more and more innocuous lies and feed them to users as truth. This trend will continue for the foreseeable future, and all shall be well.
Round 1:
As of 1:50PM on Saturday, November 18th, in the Year of our Lord 2006, I have convinced a user, upon her complaint that touchscreens must be, "all grody and disgusting," that all of our kiosk touchscreens auto-clean themselves every hour, on the hour. The screen does so by burning brighter for a period of ten seconds, elevating the screen temperature to a level that will decontaminate the surface without burning the fingertips of anyone who is currently touching the kiosk.
Your mission is to press on with these (HARMLESS!) lies. Escalate. Obfuscate. Escalate. Such is your duty.
posted by Unknown @ 14:03
1 Comments:
At 2:03 AM,
doogless said…
damn, this is better than my stupid user drinking game idea. I love it.
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